Wow, look at me now!

One of the most fascinating things about where I come from is how it colors how I think today. Fifteen years ago today I left the world I knew and headed out for an unknown future.  I certainly didn't expect to have a master's degree, two children, a good life and a great man (all of which I have now).  So I thought it only fitting to take a walk down memory lane and look at how science and reason led me to the life I have now.

Reason is a precious commodity and one that was not appreciated in the world I knew.  In some ways my world was like a snowglobe - completely cut off from reality and others.  But we were in the midst of the others all the time. We could see them and hear them and be around them.  But we didn't want to be them.   We didn't want to be worldly and that included not having friends in our church, watching how we dressed, not attending rated R movies, not cussing, not celebrating holidays and birthdays, not voting, not saluting the flag, not...not....not....

But all those nots are not what led me out.  In fact, it would be years before those nots would matter to me at all.    This is an important point because many who I left behind think that if only I hadn't been seduced by the worldly things I would still be doing what I had always done.  Yet what I had always done was think and read.  Ultimately this was how I came to leave everything I knew and head out for the unknown world.  

Would I always stay on the right path?  It was cramped and narrow, right? (Matt. 7: 13, 14)

Now a few caveats are in order.  One, I'm not interested in bashing the religion of my youth.  I think this religion is dangerously misguided in such a way that people have actually died.  But I'm not interested in naming names or telling tales.  I simply plan to relate my story, my life, my truth and go from there.  Secondly there are important parts to my story that simply don't fit in this blog.  So some things may seem simplistic.  I'm sorry if that is the case - nothing is ever simple as you know.  Also, I will refer to scriptures and beliefs the way my church taught them. I understand this is outside the mainstream of Christianity.  I know what the differences are - you don't need to tell me.  Finally, I'm not interested in returning to a life where the Bible is the authority on everything.  I've researched and read more than anyone I know and no amount of preaching is going to change my mind.  

So anyway here's my story:

In 1997 I had been living in Minnesota.  This was far away from my childhood home in the deserts of Arizona.  But I was never truly alone.  I belonged to a tight knit organization that called each other brothers and sisters who cared for each other truly.   At least we said we did and in my life it had always proven true. However, in May 1997 I had appendicitis and ran out of money.  My dad came and rescued me and I went back home to my parents' house.  I was 26 and had no career and at that moment I felt as if I had no future either.  I had been raised to believe that this "wicked system of things" was ending imminently and only those doing God's will completely would be saved.  So we were counseled not to go to college, not to pursue a career and certainly not to marry an unbeliever.  As a result I was an old maid at 26 (many young men had told me that I was scary smart along the way) with past business experience cleaning toilets, doing receptionist work and any other part time job I could find.  My primary career, as I saw it, was going door to door preaching 90 hours per month - all volunteer time, gas, and wear and tear on my car.

In 1997 my parents had the Internet.  We were counseled never to read anything that could cause us to question our faith.  But I was a voracious reader and incredibly curious.  So it was a matter of time before I began to read what people said of my faith.  What I found out shook me to my core.  But I had no one to talk to about it.  So I found an online friend by the name of Jason.  Jason was in graduate school in Kentucky and loved to research.  He started sending me quotes and stories about the religion I grew up in.  Things about dates (which really is a complicated topic for another day), about beliefs and changes to those beliefs, about subjectivity and reasoning, about the need for objective views.

A new world opened up to me.  This was a world in which a questioning attitude was taken as an article of faith.  To not question was not an option.  He forced me to examine my closely held beliefs in a way that was at once accepting of my answers yet not afraid to press on where there were no answers.

And then came that fateful Sunday......

Some interesting things from the past week

Two science-y entries this week.  One is cool and one is beyond crazy.

In the cool department we have amber with dinosaur feathers embedded in it.  This is incredibly neat.  First of all a bit of background since this is a new blog.  I grew up in a world where the earth was millions of years old, dinosaurs did exist and they did die out before "The Flood" (the one that Christians and Jews believe in - more on that another day).  However, this world also included a few "facts" that were taken as gospel by me and children like me.  One of these points were that dinosaurs went extinct, did not evolve and most certainly did not later become birds.  In addition, evolution was an evil teaching designed to blind men to the purpose of God putting humans on earth (an issue of "universal sovereignty" - who gets to tell people how they should live.  Should God or the Devil or should man decide for himself?  Stay tuned.)  Anyway, in this worldview it is utterly impossible for dinosaurs to have had feathers.  After all they were reptiles and reptiles don't have feathers.  Furthermore, even though my religion was some weird mix of beliefs (man is only 6000 years old but the earth is millions) this finding puts a serious damper on the teachings of young earthers.  Here are dinosaur feathers that are 78-79 million years old.  Just thinking about time on that scale is somewhat astonishing. So a very, very cool finding and pictures I very much enjoyed.  I want one - of the the feathers I mean.  I've seen Jurassic Park and I do not want a dinosaur (I kid, I kid - I've also seen The Flinstones so maybe a dinosaur that vacuums and does the dishes would be ok!)

My 10 year old with autism in San Diego

Now here is the crazy.  It is sure to make your blood boil - well, if you actually believe in science and things like research.  Oh and if you believe in protecting children and prosecuting charlatans who could actually end up seriously harming or killing children.  Hyperbole?  You be the judge....

This story has made me quite upset.  If you don't want to read the whole link and watch the disturbing videos I'll briefly sum it up for you.  A trio of people, based apparently in Mexico, are touting a chemical concoction called MMS as a treatment for autism.  MMS is mixed with citric acid to create chlorine dioxide.  In case you are wondering chlorine dioxide is a  BLEACHING AGENT used to bleach paper pulp!  What do they advocate you do with this bleach compound?  Why you make your child drink it (from a baby bottle if necessary), bathe in it and take enemas from it at levels well above any safe margin.  Oh and according to these people (from the last linked site) we know that autism is caused by virus, bacteria, parasites, yeast, heavy metals, allergies and inflammation.  I 'm not sure how we know that since no study or evidence is given to support this idea.   The website is full of unsubstantiated claims.  They pose the question: Isn't MMS snake oil? The answer: why no, snake oil isn't used in the treatment of autism.

Interesting thing about the history of MMS:  In July and October 2010 the FDA issued warnings about the use of MMS as a treatment for cancer and HIV.  A young man in the UK was instrumental in raising awareness about MMS there.

Sometimes people are so desperate for a cure, an improvement, an aid of any kind that they get tired of hearing "we don't know."  True improvements in a child with autism take time and a lot of hard work.  I've seen it with both of my boys (now 10 and 12 who both have autism).  I've seen it with my students - I work with students with very severe autism who are mostly non-verbal and are placed at our school because of their extreme aggression. I've seen it in research I've done (I also have a master's degree in autism and applied behavioral analysis).  So, yeah, I get that it is hard and scary and frustrating.  I know how filled with despair you can be when you are told that there is no answer to make your child say "I love you" or even to look in your eyes.  I know how hard you fight and work for each tiny victory.  It can be tempting to listen to those with their own agendas, those who seem to have all the answers, who promise cures.  But, in the end, nothing good comes of this pseudo-scientific mumbo-jumbo.  Any group who tells you to only surround yourself with like minded people because they are the only ones who can understand should be suspect.

True research doesn't start with a premise and look for reasons to agree.  True research looks for flaws in the premise.  MMS and the ideas have a lot of flaws behind it.  Two blinding ones:  the voltage (demonstrating that the solution can't harm tissue).  As very well explained here:  Parasites and other things she claims are removed from the body are made up of the same tissues as human tissue.  If it isn't hurting human tissue it is having no effect on this either.  The other one starts with the whole understanding of what autism is.  Autism may have an environmental component.  But she starts with the idea that "pathogens" cause autism with no evidence to back this up.  Autism is NOT caused by this idea of pathogens.  It isn't caused by vaccines (which is a post for another day). I've often wondered why pick on vaccines.  Why not say it is the plastic we surround ourselves with, or the fact that we use microwaves or any other wacky thing you can think of.  It is really hard to accept that we don't know what causes autism.  We don't have all the answers.

For the record neither of my children had a shot with mercury in it.  They did have their shots. Oh and their dad - yeah, he's autistic.  As in actually diagnosed autistic, didn't talk til he was 5 kind of stuff.  We've never done any biomed stuff.  My younger child is about to lose his autism diagnosis.  Both of my boys are in general education classes with straight As and Bs.  We stuck with the stuff that worked, lots and lots of hours of work by lots and lots of people.  It wasn't easy - but I used science and science methods as my starting point.  I ask all parents to be very, very careful about people who promise the world.  Always research anything by trying to prove to yourself why it wouldn't work.  In the end you are your child's only advocate.